A Search For Joy

In The Beginning Well yes, I am going to attempt to blog again! However, this time I'm taking a little different path. Let's call it, "My journal to finding Joy". I've decided to post my entries because I know I'm not the only one out there wondering, "Why am I not happy yet?" By many people's perspectives, on my life, including my own. I should be extremely happy. (What, Missy isn't the happiest person on the planet)? I'm an active church attender, I'm married to the perfect guy, I have 4 beautiful children, a home, my handsome husband is successful in his career, and well let's face it, I'm not that ugly. :) Let me begin with how I decided to search for joy. I'm 33 years young, I often look at my life with a self criticism. More often then not, I nit-pick all the things I feel I'm doing wrong. Yep, I'm a perfectionist. I always want to please others and never make any mistakes. So, I always take the safe road. In consequence, I end up feeling sad, angry, and beaten with my failure. I down right torture myself. In the end I am blinded and do not see the many wonderful blessings I have been given in my life. Sad isn't it. It makes me cry too. It may not be news to any of you, but for me, I just discovered, I am not any where near, the perfect I thought I was. :)I have just recently discovered I suffer from anxiety. (All this time I thought I was normal and on the brink of perfection. If only I could....BE HAPPY). I can look back over my life and see the many instances of my anxiety attacks. To cope with them, I've reacted in two ways: One is, I sleep. When you're asleep you don't have to face it for a time. And two, I go full speed ahead adding more and more unproductive stress to my life. Only to find at the end of the day, I feel angry because my kids made a mess again, dishes are in the sink, again, and Blake if you even think of trying anything tonight, I'm going to slap you. If anyone else ever feels like this, you are invited on my trip to finding Joy. I dare you to be happy, to love your life and love yourself.

The Doctors I will go.....5 times!!!

What an eventful last week! I think we had a family goal to see how many times we could visit the doctor last week. Me, Vandi, Zoey, and Izaak decided we all wanted a turn. Some of us wanted to make it twice.

At the beginning of the week Vandi and I went to the doctors. Lucky for me, mine was only a check up. I wish my children had been so fortunate.

Vandi had been running a fever for a couple of days. I thought it might be an ear infection. Luckily it was only a cold.

Zoey went in for thrush on a different day. Thrush is miserable. I didn't realize it at the time that little Vandi had it too. Therefore, I got thrush as well. I didn't want to go back to the doctor again for me and I was just at Vandi's doctor for Zoey. We decided one doctors appointment a week per person was plenty. So, I called the doctor for me and Vandi instead. Needless to say the girls in this family have been a bit irritable.

The icing on the cake was Thursday night when Izaak was sitting on the back of the couch, crawling across it, and enjoying a piece of bread and butter. Izaak was singing his little heart out about how much he loved bread and butter, when he slipped and fell breaking his right arm. I was out enjoying a nice, quiet, late night walk around the neighborhood when Blake drove up with the news. We rushed into the emergency room at around 9:00 pm. and didn't leave until 2:00 am.

I was so grateful for the doctor there that night. Izaak had a good break and one orthopedic surgeon said to just rap it. The doctor didn't like that call and called another surgeon to come adjust the bones. Izaak's arm would have healed crooked otherwise.

We saw a lot of blessings that night. Grandpa Robert happened to be visiting so he was able to stay and watch our girls. Thank you Grandpa Robert! Izaak had a great doctor that did the best she could for him. And just to show Heavenly Father was taking care of the situation and watching out for our little Izaak, there was a show about volcanoes on t.v. just for him. Izaak is fascinated with volcanoes right now. I love Heavenly Father.

Izaak had another appointment today and got his blue cast put on. He looks so cute! It hasn't slowed him down a bit. In fact, I think it's made him even more determined to do it "by himself".

A mist of all of this chaos. Blake and I were asked to speak in church. I learned a couple of important things. The spirit is always there to help and two not to complain if life seems to be same old same old.

10 favorite things

There are just some days I need to be reminded of why I know I love, life...

10-Invention. We live in a world of simplicity, but I find myself asking "Why are things so complicated?" I love the fact I can be indoors when it is cold or hot and it remains 74 degrees.

9-My health. (Especially now that social medicine could be our only option). I'm curious how long I would have had to wait in line to get a c-section with my twins?

Okay. Sorry some of these have been on a sarcastic note, but this blog just wouldn't be complete without the Butler sarcasm or should I say the Wright humor. (I can't believe I just wrote that).

8-Waking up in the mountains after a cool night camping, the smell of campfire floating through the air, wind rustling the leaves of the willowy aspen trees, and the sound of the stillness when I'm reflecting upon the beautiful creations that Heavenly Father has given to us.

7-Chocolate. Need I say more?!?

6-Reading a great book only to find I wish it weren't over. Often,inspiring me to write a story of my own.

5-Soaking in a hot bubble bath. AAAHHH!!!

4-People make me happy. Life would be so dull without friends and family to share it. I love meeting new people, they are so interesting. The experiences of others can be inspiring and uplifting. I also find it teaches me understanding and love.

3-My children. Heavenly Father knew I would learn my greatest lessons from my children. My heart is so full as I see their little smiles and witness the simple greatness of their ways.

2-My husband. I love having my best friend by my side. The hand that lets me know the only way I fail, is if I do not try. The smile that tells me don't worry about tomorrow you still have today to give. The hug when things get tough that reminds me I am loved.

1-Inspiration. The knowledge that there is a loving Father in Heaven. Knowing that Jesus is the Christ the Savior of mankind. A prophet to lead us back to them. Words of scripture that teach us of these things and the spirit that manifests of these truths. This prompts me to move forward and keeps my spirits high. I love this life and all it's goodness.

Blessed Day!

Vandi and Zoey were blessed last Sunday. Blessings are one of my most favorite things about having a new baby.

I am continually amazed how well our Heavenly Father knows us and on such an personal level. It was shown to me once again in my two little girls blessings. Zoey has such a sweet, happy and charming personality, people are drawn to her. Vandi has a very bright light and has the ability to bless peoples lives through her light. Both blessings are so special. I'm so grateful to my Heavenly Father for His goodness. (Zoey left Vandi right)


Blake is such an amazing husband I'm so grateful he was able to give our little ones their blessings from Heavenly Father. Blakes spirit amazes me. He has the ability to say what needs to be said and their is not a person that would argue it is from God. Thanks Blake I love you!

We enjoyed having our friends and family around us at this special occasion. It makes the occasion even greater. Thank you for all your love and support.

My feelings were sweet this day. I could feel the love and peace the spirit brought upon us as we prepared for this day. The moment the powers of the priesthood were encircled, my heart filled with love for my Heavenly Father and Savior Jesus Christ and the life that has been made possible through Them.

The dresses we choice have sentimental reasons behind them. Zoey is wearing my blessing dress and Vandi is wearing a dress her great great grandmother crocheted for my mom when she was a baby. Both looked so beautiful. I look forward to see them dressed in white two more times.

Three-Year-Old's Guide to Staging a Home

We've relaxed right into routine of feeding, changing diapers, sleeping, changing diapers, and changing more diapers. We were going through about a 100 diapers a week. Just as we were getting comfortable with everything Blake and I started feeling the impression it was time to sell our house. Why not? Let's add that to the diaper changing list.
Full speed ahead. We got things going. We called a realtor to get some info. After some discussion and prayer we decided to do for sale by owner and wait a month to sign with a realtor. The neighbors were shocked to see our little sign. Blake took some pictures and posted our home on KSL. I went to wallpapering the basement. (Talk about juggling). We started getting calls immediately and not even 2 weeks later an offer. Another miracle. Blake and I planned on selling in the near future. If it were up to us we'd still be talking about it. I'm so glad Heavenly Father is taking care of us and nudges us forward. If we had waited any longer I'm sure we would have missed our opportunity.

In these 2 weeks of craziness, Izaak, decided to be an almost, 3 year old. The twins have been a piece of cake in comparison. When trying to sell a house I have a few pointers...

1st make sure your maple syrup is locked up tight, otherwise a 3 year old will pour it all over your floor. It is very hard to clean out of carpet.

2nd handsoap is also pourable in a 3 year old hands. It will make bathroom carpet smell better, but suds just keep coming.

3rd even if you take your 3 year old to grandmas house and your own house stays clean; warn grandma to lock up the vaseline, mentholatum, and toothpaste. Vaseline and mentholotum don't make a very pretty wall art and definitely don't take stains out of couch cushions! And aquafresh toothpaste is not made to soften carpet fibers. Izaak also discovered that at grandma's house salt is not only for flavoring food. All you have to do with salt is make salt piles every foot or so throughout grandma's and grandpa's house. A five pound box of salt makes this all possible.

4th flourescent lights do not make good drumsticks! Need I say more. Glass every where!

And 5th if you think there is nothing else your 3 year old can possibly make a mess with, think a-gain! Especially if this little mastermind has a cousin about the same age, it is a disaster. Make sure you have a steam vac for this one. Dry wall mud takes a long time to clean off of drums, treadmills, safes,radios, and carpets. DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

Yes, Izaak is still breathing.

Time Flies When You're Having Fun

We are loving our crazy busy lives! Where to begin? The last couple of months are a blur. So I guess I'll start with the labor ......( Hold on tight I can talk :)

Thursday night, about 10 pm ,before the girls birth I noticed I was having regular braxton contractions, not painful at all, but regular. They timed about 20 minutes apart. By
4 am I was timing the contractions to be 8 minutes apart. I decided to call the hospital to ask if I should come in. They responded that with the contractions being 8 minutes apart there was no rush. Then I told them I was having twins and at 38 1/2 weeks and scheduled for c-section --" Oh, wow, yeah come on in!" They seemed surprised I was still holding the twins in. ( They obviously don't know me very well:)

My sweet mom came over to stay with Izaak at 4 in the morning. Thanks mom your so great! Blake and I were off.

We were so excited! We were hoping they wouldn'tsend us home because I wasn't feeling any pain and wondered if we were getting to excited. Lucky for us they checked me and found I was already dilated to a 5. Any longer the pain would have started. I sure didn't want to go through hard labor and then a c-section. Dr. Craig Hurst was called and we were scheduled for surgery at 9 am.

They wheeled me in to the operating room and prepped for the epidural. I guess I must have gotten really nervous about being cut open or something because all the sudden I got the most excrutiating head ache and I started to black out. They had to lay me down and let me catch my breath and get the blood flowing again. The epidural kicked in quickly, it's always a weird feeling.

Dr. Hurst arrived and looked at me and said "Somebody mess up her make-up or something. Everything has gone so perfectly for her."

The c-section was the craziest feeling. I could feel the pressure and pulling and the next thing I knew Zoey was born and seriously not even a second later Vandi was born. Both as cute as can be, I might add. Zoey weighed 6 lbs. 2 oz. and 18 1/2 inches and Vandi weighed 6 lbs. 1 oz. and 18 inches. Two beautiful little miracles. A baby coming into the world is always an emotional moment. We were blessed with two emotional moments.

They really are little miracles. The whole pregnancy not to mention before they were even born. That is a whole other story. I will write about that a little later.

The hospital stay was a good experience. The nurses were all great. My recovery was quick. After only 2 weeks my doctor said no restrictions.

Our families, friends, ward and neighbors are the greatest! We have been so blessed with so many friends and guardian angels. We want to thank every one for all your love and support.

The first 2 weeks were sleepless, needless to say. The first week after we arrived home Blake and I together totaled maybe 10 hours of sleep. The only way we could sleep was if we each held a baby and layed on the couch. I have to say the sleep we did get was very restless. We wouldn't change a thing. The memories are so precious.

Double Bubble Burst

Zoey Jean and Vandi Lynn arrived today. We feel so blessed to have them come to our family. Both are healthy and strong, and Missy is doing really well.

Here are a couple of pictures. First we have Vandi making her angry face, and Zoey is next sleeping peacefully.